A couple of our family members here in Utah attended a
LDS Family Service Family Support Meeting
last night. Helpful in so many ways. I hope and pray other family
members will make the effort and attend one of
these meetings.
That is the key...you have to make the effort and go if you
want change to come about!
As I can't share everything with you as I would like
I will just share some key points.
Enabling: When we enable are kids we are standing in the Lord's way!
The Lord has a plan for them or for you as the family members and when we try to take away the addicts consequences we are standing in the Lord's way of him helping them and us as the family members.
*Get out of the way.
*Let them learn and take responsibility.
*Get on with your life.
Addictions of Family Members: Are we addicted to our kids the addict?
~Are we an addictive co-dependent?
~Do we try and solve their problems for them?
~Are we controlling and try to control the situation?
~Do we try and avoid confrontation and conflict and act like all is okay?
~Do we bail our kids out of jail or keep them from going to jail?
***A missionary stated that as she has gone and worked this program in the jails she has come to learn that jail, although a hard place is not a bad place for an addict to be. They are sober and can think and the spirit is there.
~Do we think that if I love them enough they will change?
You have to be honest with yourself in answering these questions.
When consequences happen...the Lord is allowing good things to happen!
Love and support them but don't get caught up in giving in to them.
(As this was being discussed I thought about boundaries- for example you can't come to my house if you are high; you can't come to my house if I am not there as you may steal from me and I will allow the cops to come if this happens; I will not babysit your kids so you can go get high, etc.)
It is not your job to fix them...the Lord does a much
better job of this then we ever will.
He loves us and is there for us without controlling us and enabling us!
It is comforting to be a room with others that are going through the same things are family is and that through the atonement all things are possible!
last night. Helpful in so many ways. I hope and pray other family
members will make the effort and attend one of
these meetings.
That is the key...you have to make the effort and go if you
want change to come about!
As I can't share everything with you as I would like
I will just share some key points.
Enabling: When we enable are kids we are standing in the Lord's way!
The Lord has a plan for them or for you as the family members and when we try to take away the addicts consequences we are standing in the Lord's way of him helping them and us as the family members.
*Get out of the way.
*Let them learn and take responsibility.
*Get on with your life.
Addictions of Family Members: Are we addicted to our kids the addict?
~Are we an addictive co-dependent?
~Do we try and solve their problems for them?
~Are we controlling and try to control the situation?
~Do we try and avoid confrontation and conflict and act like all is okay?
~Do we bail our kids out of jail or keep them from going to jail?
***A missionary stated that as she has gone and worked this program in the jails she has come to learn that jail, although a hard place is not a bad place for an addict to be. They are sober and can think and the spirit is there.
~Do we think that if I love them enough they will change?
You have to be honest with yourself in answering these questions.
When consequences happen...the Lord is allowing good things to happen!
Love and support them but don't get caught up in giving in to them.
(As this was being discussed I thought about boundaries- for example you can't come to my house if you are high; you can't come to my house if I am not there as you may steal from me and I will allow the cops to come if this happens; I will not babysit your kids so you can go get high, etc.)
It is not your job to fix them...the Lord does a much
better job of this then we ever will.
He loves us and is there for us without controlling us and enabling us!
It is comforting to be a room with others that are going through the same things are family is and that through the atonement all things are possible!
EXCELLENT!!!!!
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